YOU ARE IN THE "JOKE" SECTION
John's Reason
At
a shop, John, a six-year old boy, stood beside his mother who was
making a purchase. The shopkeeper told him to help himself to a
handful of chocolate. But John shook his head.
"Why? What's the matter?" asked the
shopkeeper."Don't you like chocolate?"
" Yes," replied John."Well, go ahead and take
some."
John hesitated. Later the shopkeeper himself put a handful of
chocolate in John's pocket.
When they left the shop, his mother asked,"Why didn't you
take the chocolate yourself?"
"Because his hand is bigger than mine," answered John
Never Count The Last One
A
merchant, along with his little daughter, entered a bank and then
presented a check for $50 to the cashier.
"And how would you like that?" asked the cashier.
"I'd like ten five-dollar bills, please."
The cashier gave him the five-dollar bills, and he began to count
them."One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight,
nine,...."Then he stuffed them in his pocket and went away.
His daughter immediately exclaimed:"But you only counted
nine bills!"
"Psssst. never count the last one. there might be another
one underneath," whispered the merchant.
Mummy
A
little boy wanted to know how his parents met. So he asked his
father,"Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?"
The father said,"No. Why do you ask that?"
The boy answered,"Well, where did you get "mummy"
then?"
Father's Age
A
teacher filled out a form for a small girl on the first day of
school. He asked the girl,"How old are you?"
The girl answered,"As old as me."
Confused, the teacher said,"How can that be?"
"He became a father only when I was born," replied the
girl.
North America
In
a Geography class, the teacher asked George to come in front of
the class. She said,"George, go to the map and find North
America."
George came forward and pointed at a place on the map,"Here
it is!"
The teacher remarked,"Correct, George!" Then she asked
the rest of the class,"Now, class, who discovered
America?"
The whole class shouted,"GEORGE!!!"
A Promise
After
making trouble in class, Andy was asked to see the principal. He
went inside the principal's office, took a seat, and said
nothing. The principal looked at him for a while and then
said," Didn't you promise to behave?"
Andy answered softly,"Yes, Sir."
The principal then said,"And didn't I promise to punish you
if you didn't?"
Andy answered calmly,"Yes, Sir, but since I broke my
promise, I don't expect you to keep yours."
Punishment
Before
the class started, Harold came to his teacher and
said,"Ma'am, would you punish me for something I didn't
do?"
Confused, the teacher answered," Of course not,
Harold."
Harold then said,"Good, because I didn't do my
homework."
The Sign
Webster
came to class late again. Before he went to his seat, the teacher
asked him,"Why are you late?"
Webster answered,"Because of the sign."
Agitated, the teacher asked,"What sign?"
Webster remarked," The one that states SCHOOL AHEAD, GO
SLOW."
It's I
In
an English class, the teacher asked each student to make a
sentence. When it came to Ellen's turn, the teacher
said,"Ellen, give me a sentence starting with I."
Ellen answered,"I is......."
Before Ellen could finish his sentence, the teacher cut in and
said,"No, Ellen, always say I am."
Ellen then said,"All right,I am the ninth letter of the
alphabet."
Simple Arithmetic
To
make sure that the students have understood the lesson, the math
teacher asked some of them to solve several problems about the
lesson. So, he asked Vincent,"If you had one dollar and then
asked your father for another, how many would you have?"
After thinking for a while, Vincent firmly answered," One
dollar."
Disappointed because he didn't get the expected answer, the
teacher said,"You don't know arithmetic."
Sighing, Vincent said," You don't know my father."